Alfred's Journal
by JimandSteve
Summary: During Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, Bruce wasn't only the one who had adventures. Alfred had plenty of his own and wrote them down.
1. Chapter 1

_May 15, 20–_

I am starting to worry about Master Bruce. Last week, he came out in the most ridiculous out fit, claiming he was a Man Bat or something silly like that. I nearly choked on my scone and had to spit it out into a napkin while he wasn't looking (which is a shame since it was a rather tasty scone at that).

He keeps running around Wayne Manor, flapping his arms around. I had a good fright this morning when I was getting the newspaper and saw him standing on the roof, grinning and waving at me. I demanded that he get off at once and he did, but not the way I had imagined he would. He jumped off the roof and flew around in circling singing, "The wings on the Bat go up and down..." over and over. I dare say, I'm strongly considering calling up Arkham.

_May 21, 20–_

Today Master Bruce ordered a whole bunch of little pointy metal bats. I must admit, they're very useful. I've discovered that you can open letters, slice carrots, and even clean your finger nails with them! I was a little taken back when he informed me that I could not use them to hang up my Rolling Stones poster. It was very disappointing.

I have been helping him clean out the cave under the manor. It has been a very unpleasant experience, considering several of the bats find it fun to use me as their target. I have taken to wearing a trash bag and gloves, yet the little pests still enjoy bothering me. Now, I smell like bat droppings every time I visit the cave. Very embarrassing if you ask me. When I told this to Master Bruce, he simply handed me a bottle of Shampoo.

But enough of that, onto some very exciting news! Several weeks ago, I put in an order for a new tea pot and this afternoon, it came it. It's such a beauty! I immediately made my self a cup of tea and a fresh batch of cookies. Master Bruce was only interested in the cookies, but that was alright. More tea for me.

_May 27, 20_--

I had the most frightening experience. While Master Bruce was over at Wayne tower, I went down into the cave to deliver a box that had just arrived in the mail. While I was down there, I noticed the new vehicle I had heard him mention the day before. It's quiet an odd car and it's rather big. Not surprisingly, it's _black_ just like everything else. I'm beginning to wonder if Master Bruce is turning gothic on me.

So, out of curiosity, I went over and gave it a good look. I found the keys next to one of those weird masks and sat myself down in the driver's seat. I know it sounds childish of me, but I felt this sudden jolt of excitement surge through my body. I couldn't help it, it is indeed a very (as Master Bruce would say) _cool_ car.

But happened next was a complete accident. I had this sudden cramp and my foot shot down and pressed on the gas. When that happened, my hand whacked the key, causing it to turn on the motor, which caused my elbow to stage shifts. The Tumbler shot out from the cave and went flying down the road. It wasn't until I had finally realized what was happening did I grab the steering wheel and return it back to where it belonged.

Obviously, I did not tell Master Bruce since I knew he would be concerned about me. So, it shall be a secret between myself and the journal.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Lots and lots of cookies for all of you who reviewed! Thank you so much! You might notice that I'm speeding through **_**Batman Begins**_**, but I really want to get to the time gap between the first and second movie. So, apologies if you feel like you're going to fly out of your chair lol**_

_May 30, 20–_

The most interesting thing happened today. I was sweeping up some dirt that Master Bruce had tracked in when the door bell rang. Obviously, it being my job, I went and opened the door. There was a strange man dressed in black with two fierce looking men standing next to him, both of them wearing glasses. I was at once suspicious since it was still very early in the morning. Not to mention they were all wearing, _Hello, my name is: FedEx_,on their suits.

The man in black (I am beginning to wonder about all this black business. Is it the new fashion I wonder? I shall have to look into it.) asked me if this was Wayne Manor. I said it was. Then the strange man smiled, handed me a box with Master Bruce's name on it, and told me to have a nice day.

I delivered the box to Master Bruce. He opened it up and pulled out a small tape recorder. He pressed 'play' and a voice that sounded like the man who had delivered the package started singing: _Never going to give you up, Never going to let you down_...

I'm not sure what my Master found so upsetting, but he ran to the window and shouted, "You just wait, Ducard - I'll get you next time!"

_June 2, 20–_

I believe the flu season has arrived. Master Bruce has been sleeping for the past few days after I picked him up from the Narrows. It was the strangest thing. He called me up from his private phone, which he never does, and I found him in the middle of an alley, shaking and shouting. I had no idea the flu could be so bad. He sounded terribly congested.

But what can I say? I did warn him that flying around Gotham would give him a nasty cold. The fault of such an illness is not mine. There. I said it. I feel quiet better. Now if I could only get Master Bruce awake so that I could say, "I told you so!". Oh, sweet glory it shall be.

_June 3, 20–_

Master Bruce is feeling much better, for which I am very happy. My good friend Lucius came and paid him a visit, explaining something about a toxin. Toxin, flu - all the same to me. I gave my good Master a birthday present. I had been wondering about what to give a man who had everything, when it suddenly struck me that he did not in fact have certain things.

So, I put together a book of my very own cookie recipes for rainy days. Money can not buy the fun one has when getting your fingers covered in dough. The edible kind, not - never mind. Master Bruce smiled and said that he would enjoy making some cookies, so I jumped up (bad idea that, I think I pulled a muscle) and said we should have a cookie party at once.

But _no_, he had to do those silly push ups right then and there. I wonder at times if he does that to remind that I am no longer do such things.


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: Alright, now we're cooking! Okay, so this takes place right after **_**Batman Begins**_** and is the six to eight months before **_**The Dark Knight**_**. I understand that the writing is becoming more story like instead of journal like, but it's easier for me. Think about it this way: Alfred is a story teller in his own special way. So there - Enjoy!**_

_June 19, 20 –_

Master Bruce and I have begun moving into the pent house he picked out last week. It's rather big for my taste, but the view is splendid. Just this afternoon as the sun was setting, I spotted my employer sitting on the tower across the street. I waved at him and shouted, "Master Wayne, it's a rather lovely afternoon, wouldn't you say?"

For some odd reason, he shook his head and said something I couldn't hear. I suppose he couldn't understand me, so I shouted, "I'm sorry, sir. I said, 'It's a rather lovely afternoon, wouldn't you say?'" He continued shaking his head, but was waving his arms at me. "Yes, sir," said I. "I can see you. You look rather funny on that building there, if you don't mind me saying."

Master Bruce was rather frantic at that point. He was waving even harder and shaking his head, putting a finger to his lips. It was then when it I realized that he must be trying to communicate something to me. I watched his hand gestures. "Alright, sir, three words. No, four. How many syllables? Two? Two."

It was a rather long game, but I finally discovered what he wanted. Obviously, he was stuck on top of the tower and couldn't get down. So, I would have to get him down myself. "Don't worry, sir, I'll be over in a jiffy! Just stay there while I get some rope!" My Master was so relieved, he covered his face with his hands and shook his head.

I hurried over, rope in hand and took the elevator to the very top. When I arrived, Master Bruce was there, but thankfully safe from harm. He spoke to me, but his nose was so congested I couldn't understand him. I ushered him back into the pent house and heated up a mug of some of my famous hot coco.

I declare, what would he do without me?

_June 21, 20 –_

The moving has been going quiet well. Our new neighbors aren't very happy about the movers using all three elevators, but that's what stairs are for.

Life would be back normal if it wasn't for the rather pesky fan girls that have camped down in the lobby area. Every time my poor Master tries to enter or exist the building, they let out war cries and tackle him. Thankfully, because of all the Man Bat skills, he has learned how to dodge all them. Of course, I do wonder if he _encourages_ this behavior. For example, only three days after we made preparations to transfer the furniture, he arrived at the building, dressed only his swimming wear. Bare chests seem to have strange effects on females: they scream. I will never understand...


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:**__ Alfred's back…and so am I. Please keep in mind that for the majority of the story now will take place between the two movies, covering events that we haven't heard about. I plan to bring in several villains, a glorious kidnapping, and *gasp* a love interest for Alfred! So yes, there's a lot you don't know about our favorite butler ;)_

_**July 2, 20 –**_

My dearest beloved memoir,

I have simply given up on my Master. It appears as if he really does believe he's a Man Bat. I keep telling him that he's never going to have a serious relationship if he continues wearing that ridiculous costume. No woman, sane or insane, wants to marry a man who plays dress up all day.

I knew that his parents' death had upset him as a child, but I had no idea it affected him this much! Perhaps I should write to Dear Abby…

_**July 14, 20 –**_

I talked with the nicest young man today!

I met him in the elevator going down to the lobby and he politely asked if I would like to see his mask. Obviously, I said yes (I mean, what else was I going to say? "No, I already have a Master who's obsessed with wearing masks like a psychotic killer?") and he pulled out this funny looking bag with eye holes; just like the one I used to wear when my brothers and I played cops and robbers. I was so overjoyed that I immediately asked if I could wear it and pulled it off his head onto mine.

It appeared as though the young man had an important meeting to attend however and had to leave the elevator quickly. I was very disappointed; I really wanted to play cops and robbers


End file.
